Pain and Swelling
oh well...
it's almost 1:00 here so my lunch is just about over. I eat at my desk most days = the geek that i am.
I've become increasingly addicted to coffee. It's not a good thing. At least I'm not insisting to myself that i have to stop at CCs every morning and get the mocha. My God- i'd be so broke by now.
I had a very interesting thought the other day. In all honesty, it was a "toilet thought" but damn it if those just aren't the best thoughts!
I was thinking about the words "pain" and "swelling". Then I thought, does pain always accompany swelling, or vice versa? THEN i said - hmmm - i am swollen (fat) because of PAIN! AHA! But what pain? Something emotional! Something hidden away! I need to find it.
It was a small eureka moment. I mean, duh- it's obvious that i'm fat because something has hurt me - but it was fun to make that pain and swelling connection.
So- i guess I have to get to the bottom of that at some point. Still thinking about the weightloss options. Want to attack it on all levels - emotionally, physically, spiritually. I have to look at this from every angle, you know. I'm wondering who can help me! I guess that i should check out our insurance plan and see if there are any registered dieticians on the list. I just don't know. i feel like i need a whole team of people to help me. Hey, wait a minute? isn't that what they do on "the swan"? Good lord.
I'm not about to go on a reality makeover show. I need at least a year to get my shit together.
I need to brainstorm about this over the weekend. In the meantime, I have been doing a bit better. Went to the grocery store and made very healthy choices. Bought an angel food cake, made some chocolate pudding and then made some yummy low fat desserts - a slice of angel food cake, pudding on top, with a dollop of fat free cool whip. Not too bad.
It's so hard living with a man who doesn't eat fruit or vegetables. It makes me lazy. I guess it's no excuse -but - it would be so much easier if he had healthier habits.
Well - more later.
TGIF!
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