Energy-less Blob

2004-10-27
So I promised myself that I would work like a crazed drone today. That I would get to work and spread out all manner of papers and folders and look at them with intensity and thought. That I would be making multiple trips to the copier and downstairs and flitting around like an industrious fly.
And yet- here I am typing. Reclining in this $400 Henry Miller chair and listening to Peter Gabriel. Out of the corner of my right eye a STACK of papers, envelopes, etc looms. What is it for? Me dont know. Oh geez Im now talking like Cookie Monster. Ive been reduced to that.
I feel quite run down lately. Could be diet. I know for sure that Im exercising. Well actually, you could very well have dreamed that you got up yesterday at 5:30 and then went to the gym and worked out for an hour But it was no dream. Today I feel bad. Once again clothes are piling up and the status of the kitchen table horrifies me. Why must I have that house? I didnt want it. I wish that the entire wall consisted of built-in cabinets that we could hide stuff in.
Anyway so last night right after I got home I just lay in bed for awhile. Felt like I was getting the flu or something although I know its so psychosomatic with the whole flu shot shortage deal. Ok so I have gotten the flu shot for the last 3 years AND I do have a lowered immune system but that doesnt mean that Im definitely going to get the flu.
Anyway so I lay there feeling crappy. And achey. My throat started hurting at exactly 3:47 pm yesterday. All of the sudden it hurt. And I just happened to notice the clock. So strange how your throat can go from fine to hurting just like that (Im snapping.) Ginger snaps. Heh heh
Anyway hopefully a good lunch at Piccadilly will motivate me when I come back. HA! What a joke!
Im going with Clay and Georgi.
Anywho almost began to cry watching The Biggest Loser last night as Chad and I shoveled in slices of pizza from Dominos. It made me quite uncomfortable because looking at some of those women I thought Im bigger than them. What the hell am I doing with this pizza? Who put this in my hand?
I dont know what to do. Im on autopilot with food lately. Just blindly eating whatever. Not good. Need to get inspired again. I was almost inspired last night but I was just too disgusted. Theres a fine line between inspiration and disgust these days.
Im in charge of planning my sis bachelorette party on Saturday. I do hope we have fun. Im worried about that. Since Im hosting, if the party as a whole sucks well , then I suck.
Anyway guess I will go for now. Just felt like writing.
12:01 p.m. ::
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