Miss Manners

January 06, 2005
Okay so Ive stumbled upon a new concept for weight loss actually more so for learning self-control.

I guess about a month ago I was at my Aunt Marys (Mamies) in Baker and she was telling me all of these little expressions my great grandmother used to say. I would actually like to compile all of them because some are rather funny all these weird little rhyming things to help you remember stuff and, especially, to put a person in his or her place. But one stood out to me. Mamie said that whenever they would go to take the last bite of food on their plates, Grandmother would say, Save some for Miss Manners, girls. She was obviously not a believer in the clean plate club.

So Ive been thinking about this Miss Manners thing constantly. In fact, I have actually been SAVING some for Miss Manners at almost every meal! Now granted, most of these meals consist of extraordinarily fattening items, but Ill get down to the end and Ill hear this little voice saying, Save some for Miss Manners.

GASP!

Perhaps its the voice of my dead grandmother? Perhaps Im experiencing my own version of white noise?

But seriously, Ive begun to take this Miss Manners thing to a whole new level. Im trying to mentally put a face on her. Then Im kind of making up my own little story about how Miss Manners is a reedy-thin old woman who doesnt need much just the last bite, if you can spare it. And the more you give to Miss Manners, the better you and she are physically. Im thinking that I may even use this on my own kids some day. Im thinking that Miss Manners will be in the same vein as Santa and the Easter Bunny.

My God imagine the possibilities! Imagine the weight loss!!! Imagine if you decided to give half to Miss Manners instead of just the last bite. Perhaps you could gradually work up from one to two and then the last three bites.

Wait a minute. Dont they sacrifice food to Ghanesh?. Isnt this some sort of bizarre eastern religious concept?

Damn.

Maybe not maybe I wont be accused of starting some bizarro food-sacrificing cult.

Whatever helps, people. Whatever helps.

1:38 p.m. ::
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