GINORMOUS Rant

May 30, 2005
Okay I have to rant about the fact that I AM GINORMOUS!!!!

I know, I know . . .

I AM pregnant. I AM bloated. I AM NOT dieting.

Still Ė in the past few days, Iíve managed to view more horrifying pictures of myself than ever! I think itís even worse than that pistachio nightmare a year ago.

I saw one photo of me perched on a window seat and literally thought I was looking at Jabba the Hutt (with glasses on). I donít have the aforementioned photo (thank GOD) but I have others.

First hereís this lovely one of Georgi and I.

Notice how you canít even see Iím sitting in a chair because my whole body is covering it.

Hereís the worst one, most probably. Itís me post-gigantic Cracker Barrel breakfast that I had no business gobbling down but that I convinced myself was ďokayĒ because I opted for the ďturkey sausageĒ instead of the beef.

I mean Ė notice how I barely fit into the LARGE rocker.

Iím beginning to freak out! Iím feeling so guilty. I donít think I was this fat 3 months ago. I mean, Iíve gained some weight but . . .

Oh yeah Ė AND my nose is spreading across my face like a bad rash. Whatís better than looking like an elephantine version of the love child of Karl Malden and Jabba the Hutt?

Needless to say Ė the song ďI Feel PrettyĒ ainít been on my mental playlist for quite some time now.

Anyway Ė I will STOP with my madness for now. I just feel so blah and upset and nervous that my size will literally kill the baby somehow. And having the picture proof only makes it worse.

Anyway Ė on a happier note Ė hereís a photo of Chad holding my cousinís baby at the reunion. Doesnít he look ready for daddy-hood?

I suppose Iíll post some of the other pictures to our Flickr site. Then at some point - Iíll put that cool Flickr link on my sidebar so you guys can have a peek.

The reunion was a great time. It was so nice to be with family and laugh and share and talk about life. I printed out Fridayís entry ďFun MotherĒ and brought it so my Mom could read it. Of course she cried Ė as I knew she would. Anyway Ė the COOL thing is that one of the kids she used to babysit that made her solemnly swear to be a fun mother is now my Uncle Samís wife Julie!!! I had no idea! I thought that was so cool. She wasnít our Aunt Julie back in the day when my Mom first told us that story.

Anyway Ė Iím here at work on Memorial Day doing NOTHING!!! HAHAHA!

Iím probably going to leave early. This place is a ghost town anyway.

2:09 p.m. ::
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