The Weekend, Old Friends and New Injuries

June 27, 2005
I�m sitting here grimacing at my desk, knowing that � of my toenail (of my big toe on my right foot) is hanging on by a thread due to last night�s debacle. But I�ll get to that later. . .

Friday night I went to my dad�s to celebrate my sister�s 24th birthday � a day late. We decided to do �create your own super nachos� which was fun! Delicious stuff and surprisingly, I didn�t eat too much. Granny and Pawpaw were there. This was the first time Pawpaw had gotten out of the house (other than to go to the doctor) since he broke his leg. The man is apparently on quite a bit of pain meds � so he was a bit �crunk�- so to speak. It was both hilarious and a little sad.

His object of �crunkitude� was Joey.

�JOEY!� he would yell suddenly. �Uhhhhhhhhhhh . . .how�s work?�

Joey is a very shy person who doesn�t like attention drawn to him on any occasion � so we were quite surprised that he didn�t shit himself when this happened.

In any case �we had a very nice time.

Saturday was my day of rest. I had a lovely nap. Then went out to Target to get a baby gift for my best friend from high school (this is the one I�ve mentioned here and here.) I don�t think I�m going to mention her by name because her name is one of a kind and if she ever googled herself � she would find this blog � (not that I wouldn�t want her to read it or anything) but it would be weird if she found it without me giving her the link myself and saying �hey, I wrote about you.�

I�ll just call her . . . Simone - which is one of her old nicknames.

Anyway � so I got the gift and then went home. Jimbo came to stay with me that night. We watched that AFI�s 100 greatest movie quotes � I�d DVRed it.

The next day was okay � I had the shower to go to. I was a little nervous on the way over � I knew I�d be seeing people that I hadn�t seen in many years. AND I�m really fat, of course. I�m pregnant too � which helps a bit � but fat just the same. In addition to that, I�ve been feeling crazy sentimental for Simone � ever since Gretchen sent me the bag of letters I wrote to her in high school (OMG! Babra�s Streisand�s �As if We Never Said Goodbye� is playing on my launchcast station. Tears coming at any moment.) � and reading them reminded me of just how much of a part of my life Simone was. (I kid you not �every other line was like �Me and Simone went here� or �Simone came over�) And I think it began to hit me just how devastating it is to lose someone who is that close to you and yet � they�re not dead and they only live 5 miles from you.

It was over a guy. It was SO stupid � and she wasn�t stupid. I WAS STUPID.

Long story short. I had a MAD crush on this guy in high school. He DID NOT like me � but we were friends. And so � things came to a head when he was a senior and I was a junior. He decided to talk to me about it, tell me that he knew, and that he didn�t feel that way � so I could get on with my life already. But before doing that, he needed advice. So � for advice, he called the person who knew me better than anyone else � Simone. And in that conversation, something sparked between them. They�ve been together ever since.

And even though we�ve had long conversations about it, come to terms with things, laughed and cried . . .(I was even in her wedding to him!) things have NEVER been the same. There�s also a side story about her ex-boyfriend whom I went to the movie�s with after they broke up (we were JUST friends) � before she got together with my crush� but this of course stirred up a load of shit. She thought I was after him (I wasn�t) and then the opportunity came for her to get together with the object of my affections and she took it.

I don�t blame her. They were meant to be.

Then of course, the most thrilling thing is happening in her life � she�s finally found �the one� and she can�t share a bit of it with me. Because I can�t handle it. And then he became her best friend.

What a mess! (anyway � sorry for the �Monday Flashback�)

Soooo � now I�m married. And I�m happy and I certainly am over the crap that happened well over ten years ago, and I just MISS MY FRIEND!

Am I crazy for thinking this?

Anyway � so of course, when we saw each other yesterday we just talked like time had stood still � as it always is. At first, most of her family didn�t recognize me . . .

�GINGER! I didn�t even recognize you!!! What have you done to your hair? It looks great � but it�s so DIFFERENT!�

(I told you it�s the hair!)

So then, her Mom goes around introducing me to everyone in the room:

�THIS is Simone�s BEST FRIEND!!! Remember Ginger from High School? They were inseperable! And now she�s pregnant too!�

And then people were all �That�s so great that ya�ll are having babies in the same year! How wonderful for such close friends to become mothers together!�

Ahhhh devastating! So bittersweet.

Before I left, I gave her my card with all the info and told her to please put me on the �to call� list when the baby comes. And I told her that I wanted to hear ALL the gory details!

I certainly hope that I�m included.

Even as I�m typing this, I just want to bawl. I don�t know why I feel so �needy� all of the sudden. It�s not like I don�t have friends. We just had the most incredible friendship � you just can�t even imagine. We were so very close � never got tired of each other. Sometimes I�ll start to drive myself crazy thinking � �Maybe she never really liked me that much at all� or �Maybe her husband hates me and has told her not to be friends with me.�

I�m sure she�s probably so over all of it. I�m sure if she read this she would find it �creepy.�

Or maybe not.

Anyway � we�ll see what happens.

In other news � the �toe disaster.�

Was running to answer the phone, tripped over my brother�s guitar case, somehow hit my toe on something hard � causing the toenail to RIP and BLEED and thus causing me to scream and go hysterical for a solid hour. It�s still throbbing with pain.

So � don�t know what I�ll do. Can only wear this one pair of flip-flops. Not office wear � ya know? But what can I do?

Well � I will close. Didn�t mean to ramble on this much.

10:18 a.m. ::
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