Would Be So Much Finer if it Weren�t For My Vagina
HELLO!
Honestly, it would have looked like this:
I am from stabbing vaginal pains, of the stabbing variety in the vaginal regions.
Anyway � apparently SVP is just another fun part of becoming a mother. The silly and sad thing is that these little jabs come at awkward and inopportune moments.
Case in point - I am flip-flopping and waddling to the bathroom yesterday � and as I�m going through the lobby where a very well-dressed man is seated, waiting for some meeting, I freeze and scream aloud. And said man jumps and stares at me. And I grimace and waddle on.
Not pretty.
I mean, you can�t very well say to a total stranger �
Oh don�t mind me. It was just my vagina. Stabbing me from the inside!
Anycrap . . .
I did call the doctor and they told me it was just �ligaments.�
I personally think that my ligaments are inherently cruel. I think that they�ve been saving up for this for years now. I think Adolph Hitler and Benito Mussolini have been reincarnated as these ligaments.
What in the hell does a ligament look like anyway? Let�s see, shall we?
Someone crudely drew it this way �
Interesting. I see the vagina � no ligaments labeled around there. I see other ligaments.
Let�s take a closer look shall we?
WELL that explains it!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In other news of late . . .
Cooked a delicious dinner last night, the infamous crockpot roast � Jimbo came over and stayed again.
Sara is supposed to be fixing my toenail this afternoon. She�s going to cover it with something and seal it so it will grow out. I�ve gotten opposition on this idea from both Georgi and Wendy � screaming �It won�t be able to breathe! It won�t heal! It will get infected! You�ll lose your toe! WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!�
Sara�s supposedly done this a million times . . . so � I don�t know.
I mean � here�s the deal �
I have to go to a conference next week in Austin. I mean � can I honestly be flip-flopping around with this giant gauze-wrapped toe??? What if they take us to dinner at a nice place? If I get this fix � it will look like a whole and perfect painted toenail.
I mean � who knows how long this is going to take to grow out. And I�m certainly not leaving it UNCOVERED to snag on something and rip the whole damn thing off!
Look � here�s a crude drawing of what we�re dealing with:
If ONLY it hadn�t broken so far down!!!
Well � that�s about alls I got for today. Sorry to whine so much but - you know . . .
