Almost Halfway There!

June 29, 2005
Well I’m 19 weeks today! I can’t believe I’m almost halfway there! I’m feeling as big as the moon though, these days. There’s another lady here that’s pregnant and 2 months ahead of me –although we look about the same in the belly area. I described the situation to Wendy the other day like this – some mattresses are flat – and some have the big puffy pillow top. Mine has the pillow top. Thus – not only do I have a pregnant belly, I have my very own 3 inch deep layer of “pillow top” out in front.

I just can’t even imagine what I’m going to look like at nine months. Probably like Violet Beauregard a la Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

Anywho – here’s the 411 on the bean:

Your Baby's Development This Week

The baby is developing at a steady pace and has undergone some incredible changes. This week, the baby begins taking on more fat, which is very important for its ability to create and maintain heat and for metabolism. If your baby is a girl, primitive egg cells are developing in her ovaries. Girls are born with all the eggs they will ever have. The egg you released to conceive this baby is as old as you are now!

Other changes that are happening:

• The baby's ears now stand out from the head.

• The placenta will continue to grow from this point on but only in diameter, not thickness.

• This week a temporary hair called lanugo will appear on the baby's body and head but disappear by birth. No one is sure of the purpose of this hair.

Baby's Size (head to rump) this week: About 8.5 inches

Weight: Approximately 9 ounces

Right now your baby is about the size of a small banana.

Here’s a 19 week baby -

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In other “toe” news – I went to see Sara yesterday afternoon.
(OH and let me just say that I decided to purchase some “anesthesia” in the form of a special LOVENEST snowcone from the local stand. The legendary lovenest or “stuffed snowcone” is a regular old snowcone in whatever flavor you choose STUFFED with soft serve vanilla. I know you’re thinking this sounds gross, my friends, but OH NO – its absolute ECSTASY. And I’ll be frank here – I did ecstasy once about 5 years ago – and this is BETTER! And in case you’re wondering, I got a coconut snowcone for the base flavor. TO DIE FOR!!!)

Soooo – Sara went to work on the toe after she’d stopped laughing over the KKK hood. She cleaned it – put some sort of crap on it – then covered it with glue. She then placed a thin strip of fiberglass tape over the crack. Sprayed something on it – more glue – and then painted over it with fresh polish – all the while telling me why leaving it uncovered would open it up for all sorts of horror.

It reminded me of that disgusting commercial where that little computer animated gremlin thing lifts up the toenail and burrows within. Is that not SICK? I swear, everytime that shit comes on I have to change the channel.

And what’s with these commercials? Can we not understand the severity of an illness without having some creepy cartoon representation? I mean – you’ve got that God-awful Phlegm Man in the wifebeater, the Toenail Gremlin creature, the Little Pollen Monsters and then I saw a new one the other day – it was this Claymation Migraine Beast.

Give me a break!

Anyway – so now I’m wearing normal sandals and the toe is HAPPY!

For your pleasure- another crude drawing:


9:22 a.m. ::
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