Friday Flashback: Red Beans and Vice
I won�t go into too many details here, but I will say that one of our displaced �employees� from New Orleans came to volunteer at our building and well � the dude was just batshit crazy. And I kept wanting to tell him that we really appreciated his efforts but to please just get the hell out � in a nice way of course, but I couldn�t.
And then I remembered why.
I don�t know if I ever mentioned that I worked at a bakery my last semester of college. (Yeah � I know, it�s the equivalent of Snoop Dogg working for a Marijuana Factory).
Well � there was this one dude that worked there that was a little off. He swept floors mostly � talked to himself � asked people crazy questions, the usual. (He used to ask this young guy who worked there every single day in a hoarse whisper � �Hhhhey man? Uh uh uh � do you beat yo meat?�) Totally not kidding.
Anyway � so one day I had taken my lunch break in the back. I had brought a little container of red beans and rice and corn bread. And I was sitting on the back counter eating when he came in sweeping.
�Ooooooh! That red beans and rice?�
�Um � yep� I said, smiling �acting normal.
Then he starts jumping around.
�Gimme some! Gimme some!�
So I�m all � �Uh sorry dude � I just brought the one container.�
So then he rushes over and attempts to literally take some with his hand.
So I grab my stuff, put it behind me to shield it and scream �GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!�
Well � all hell breaks loose. He starts tearing the place apart and screaming �I WILL KILL YOU BITCH! I WILL KILL YOU!�
He was fired about an hour later � but I tell you � I was completely freaked out for at least a month � thinking he was literally going to hunt me down and kill me.
And so � before I told nutjob volunteer anything the other day � I had a flashback to that moment of sheer terror when I set off a crazy and I kept my mouth shut.
No offense to anyone who�s crazy or anything.
(Please don�t threaten to kill me!)
