Friday Flashback: Red Beans and Vice
I won’t go into too many details here, but I will say that one of our displaced “employees” from New Orleans came to volunteer at our building and well – the dude was just batshit crazy. And I kept wanting to tell him that we really appreciated his efforts but to please just get the hell out – in a nice way of course, but I couldn’t.
And then I remembered why.
I don’t know if I ever mentioned that I worked at a bakery my last semester of college. (Yeah – I know, it’s the equivalent of Snoop Dogg working for a Marijuana Factory).
Well – there was this one dude that worked there that was a little off. He swept floors mostly – talked to himself – asked people crazy questions, the usual. (He used to ask this young guy who worked there every single day in a hoarse whisper – “Hhhhey man? Uh uh uh – do you beat yo meat?”) Totally not kidding.
Anyway – so one day I had taken my lunch break in the back. I had brought a little container of red beans and rice and corn bread. And I was sitting on the back counter eating when he came in sweeping.
“Ooooooh! That red beans and rice?”
“Um – yep” I said, smiling –acting normal.
Then he starts jumping around.
“Gimme some! Gimme some!”
So I’m all – “Uh sorry dude – I just brought the one container.”
So then he rushes over and attempts to literally take some with his hand.
So I grab my stuff, put it behind me to shield it and scream “GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!”
Well – all hell breaks loose. He starts tearing the place apart and screaming “I WILL KILL YOU BITCH! I WILL KILL YOU!”
He was fired about an hour later – but I tell you – I was completely freaked out for at least a month – thinking he was literally going to hunt me down and kill me.
And so – before I told nutjob volunteer anything the other day – I had a flashback to that moment of sheer terror when I set off a crazy and I kept my mouth shut.
No offense to anyone who’s crazy or anything.
(Please don’t threaten to kill me!)
