Happy Cinquo de Mayo!

Hi there. Another night and I'm still fat.

Oh well . . .

Today was a relatively decent one. I didn't get as much done as I hoped I would because I got bogged down with this power point that Dr. P (my boss) asked me to "make pretty" for her. HA! The formatting was completely screwed up and it took my hours and hours to fix it. I won't even go into it, because it's basically desktop publishing woes. My friend Mendy would understand. Hey - I should really drop her a line. She might like reading the diary.

Anyway -

So - I had lunch with my bro today. Coolest story - he had a date with this girl several months ago which he thought didn't go so well - and so he didn't call the chick again. Now - they'd been talking for months as friends, but - he kinda thought that she was trying to get him into some multi-level marking thing or something so he thought she was just putting on the charm for manipulative and insincere reasons. (women - insincere and manipulative? Noooooooooooo!)

Anyway- so yesterday he said that he couldn't stop thinking about her all day. And he kept thinking that he'd made a mistake and he should have called her again but now it's too late - blah blah. So he sits down and writes her this letter saying that he's basically falling for her and that he's been a fool - not really intending to send it - just to get his feelings out.

Anyway - at midnight last night, his cell phone rings and IT'S HER! She just calls him out of the blue! And she tells him that she misses him and that she wants to get together again before she leaves for the summer. He said she made it very obvious that she definitely had "romantic" feelings.

Can you believe?

So they're going out next weekend. I was like "dude that is totally fate!"

AND it appears that my best guy friend has finally met a decent woman - although she does live in Minnesota- still . . . he's almost 33 and has never really had a serious girlfriend - not a girlfriend really for the last ten years at least. So - I'm so glad for both of them! And he's planning on visiting the girl in MN and may stay with my Mom & Co. - who live in St. Paul.

Tonight I went to the "romance" shower. It was pretty good - although I was feeling so fat I thought I would die. And these chairs we sat in- they were these little wood jobs with woven wicker seats. A little on the wobbly side, too.

I kept waiting for the chair to collapse. I just knew that any second it would. I was trying to partially hold myself up on the table with my elbows to give the damn chair some relief- but all the while hoping and praying that it wouldn't collapse.

The entire time we ate and chatted . . .

(OH God please don't let this chair collapse. What will I do if it does?)

When she pulled one piece of lingerie after another out of gift bags . .

(I can just imagine how these women are going to feel "so sorry" for me as they help me to my feet. I can just imagine one of them inspecting the chair and making up a story of a loose screw or a crack or something - instead of pointing out the fact that an ass like this does not belong in a chair like that)

As the cookies were passed around and I politely refused another . . .

(Cut to Richard Simmons infomercial - me sobbing -I tell him how the moment the chair collapsed, I knew it was time - I knew that there was no turning back . . . they've hired a stunt fattie to do a "video recreation" of the scene - in garish grainy black and white film. Richard and I watch and cry together.)

Ok - so the chair didn't collapse.

So I've escaped, yet again.

I pondered these things as I drove home.

My cell phone rang and it was Chad - screaming into the phone quite jovially.


Oh no.

I knew he was going to a Mexican restaurant but didn't think he'd be getting plastered.

When I arrived home, he was there - in the living room - stark naked and sitting in the chair. He leapt up and danced around and laughed until he was gasping for breath. It was horrific and hilarious at the same time.

He had four margaritas. They were only $1.50 each.

For the remainder of the night - his drunkeness continued and then he eventually calmed and got into bed. I had a phone call from a friend of mine at work who had called to tell me the scoop about another co-worker resigning today in a fury, etc, etc and by the time I went back to him - he was zonked.

I kissed his tequila-infused lips goodnight. He murmured "I love you"

Love you too - I said.

And here I am.

Actually - here I go- because it's time for beddy-bye.

Tomorrow - I face another day with much to accomplish!

Until then -

9:44 p.m. ::
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