Hurricane Woes

Hurricane Woes

So – I was informed late yesterday afternoon that I would have to do front-desk duties all day today. Whatever. Sucks. It basically means that I can’t get any “real” work done. This would be fine for the me of four years ago who didn’t care about such things- but the mature, older me cares now. Ah – such is growing up.

Anyway – I was supposed to be here at 8:00. HA! I left the homestead at 7:15 thinking – I’ll have PLENTY of time. The office is only 15 miles from my house. What a joke! First of all, there’s a voluntary evacuation out of New Orleans- which, as well all know, means that if you voluntarily evacuate you don’t have to go to work, but can instead spend your day taking a road trip. Who wouldn’t volunteer? The roads were LOUSY with these evacuees. I just got here at 8:30. Thank GOD Georgi was here to watch the desk for me. Would have been a disaster otherwise. I think my boss was semi-peeved – but, it was out of my control. I mean – we do have that “act of God” check box on our leave slips, do we not?

And so it is now that I make my confessions about last night.

Last night was a disaster- all around.

First of all, we decided to use our other gift certificate to On the Half Shell – a little seafood restaurant that we could walk to if we wanted to (we actually SHOULD have walked there considering our meals) – but didn’t. I sit down with thoughts of French fries dancing in my brain. I MUST have French fries – I keep thinking. I don’t think I can make it another day without them. (Granted – I had French fries at lunch Sunday with our burgers). I’m trying to combat these thoughts to no avail. Perhaps I’ll just have a sandwich . . . a turkey sandwich wouldn’t be so bad.

Get whatever you want, Chad says. Didn’t you really like that praline chicken?

Of course I LOVED that praline chicken. Imagine, a deep fried boneless breast of chicken topped with praline sauce and roasted pecans.

So – not ONLY did I order it, but I ordered fries as my first side – AND sweet potato fries as my second side! I proceeded to then dip my sweet potato fries in the praline sauce that had oozed off of the chicken and onto the plate. Why didn’t I just ask them to place the fries and chicken into a large wonton wrapper and deep fry them all together in a crispy triple bypass pocket of death?

Now – I ate all of the French fries first – did the whole dipping thing with the sweet potato fries and then took two bites of the praline chicken. At this point, I was completely and utterly full. Did I stop here? I did not. I continued until all the chicken was gone. I left most of the sweet potato fries on the plate – but STILL. Awful. I will also add that I had, prior to the meal, four packs of wheat crackers with margarine smeared on the last 2 packs AND a salad with ranch and Italian dressing. All washed down with a diet coke. (The irony!)

I was so ill. It was ridiculous. I almost wanted to cry. Why didn’t I just get the sandwich? God – my food regrets could fill up 10,000 pages.

So we went home and I slothed about feeling like a stuffed pig. I played piano for awhile and then talked to my brother for at least an hour. I think he’s going to go to counseling soon. We were talking about some things that I think he really needs to see a professional on. I mean- he’s not CRAZY or anything – he just needs a good outside perspective from someone who has some sort of formal training.

After I went to bed, the torture began. I awoke at 3:04 am. My underwear felt tight. My skin felt tight. My stomach was pitching and rolling. My thoughts were racing. I began to worry so much about my brother I could barely stand it. I almost began to cry. Then I started to pray for him. I was so delirious. I couldn’t go back to sleep. The clock turned to 4:02 and then 5:03. Finally I drifted off – only to have bizarre dreams that occurred at my grandparents (now my aunt’s) house in Sulphur – something about a black bear and alligators and this guy that I used to be in love with at church was there. And I ended up making out with him in a car and my PawPaw caught us (my Dad’s dad - not my mom’s, which is weird because he’s not from Sulphur) – actually at this point the dream had shifted to his house – my other grandparent’s place- in Brusly. Anyway – so I felt like an idiot and I cheated on Chad and it was terrible. I awoke at 6:15 of course and got ready so I could leave extra early so I could make it to this office at 8:00 – which I didn’t.

Oh well – anyway – guess I’d better do some sort of work here.

9:12 a.m. ::
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