My How the Hours S T R E T C H

This is absolutely the most un-motivated day I have ever had in my entire life.
AND I took a long lunch.
I can do nothing. I have taken to staring off into space. I think the most productive thing I've done in the last 2 hours is print 3 labels and stick them on folders. That was my big "burst of afternoon productivity."
Ok - i'm exagerrating a bit - for those readers who may be concerned (Rachael).
Don't know why I'm zoning out so much.
Have been reading the FUNNIEST blog ever.
This chick is HILARIOUS.
Read the entry called "Baptamistic Jihad" (or is it Baptistic Jihad?)
Anyway - I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants.
So- what else is new?
AH - new announcements.
1. Chad and I have our FIRST meeting with the counselor on Monday at 6:30!!! WOOHOO!
2. I am speaking at my church on October 24!

Kind of nervous about that one. Just feel like I'm not "there yet" if that makes any sense. I just feel like I have no right to get up and tell anyone anything - and I know that's crap - but, for some reason I believe it.
I suppose it's because the last time I got up and gave a lovely Christian speech to a group, I promptly went out and fell from grace. I was talking to this youth group about the dangers of "straying away from the church" and "having sex with strange college boys who end up being manic depressive and have messiah complexes and appear to be manifesting demons" and then - the next night I think - I went and slept with said bi-polar messiah/demoniac.
I don't know what I could run out and do this time...
Such a strange thing - this whole Christianity/relationship with God situation. I fight so hard to "not become the crazed freak I was before" but at the same time, I still want this to be real. And it IS real - but it's just a fine line to walk.
Will go for now. Only 30 minutes left.
P.S. Please forgive me for the absurd over-use of quotations. I might add that I have been using air quotations a lot today - much to the annoyance of the part of my brain that hates crap like that and my office mates.

4:16 p.m. ::
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