Planning for the Bachelorette

Tried on the dress this morning and itís fine. Since Chadís mom took the darts out, the zipper looks a little bizarre Ė but it will work. Feel good about that considering that I was a little worried. I mean Ė we did go to a MEXICAN BUFFET last night, after all. Not Panchoís. This new place in BR that actually turned out to be pretty good. Iím sure weíll go back.

Soooo Ė what else is new? Ah Ė my sugar dropped again today. I just need to start wearing a candy necklace for emergencies. Iím probably so diabetic Ė itís pathetic. Ha Ė poetry!

Anyway Ė Georgi and I went to Hearts for Lovers at lunch. Not a very good experience. For one thing Ė these people seem to only have one price tag on their little tag gun and itís $39.95. The stuff is too damn expensive. And then Ė the people that work there. My good LORD! Where do they get these people? Actually Ė I think I know where Ė and thatís what scares me. So at one point, Iím holding this giant penis lollipop thing and I hear whispers and snickers from these counter-whores behind me. And Iím thinking Ė Where am I? I mean Ė if the salesbitches are going to laugh at you in a place like this . . . It was just bizarre to me. I turned around and gave them a semi-sneer. And then went back to looking at these bizarre items. The chicks in there gave me the creeps. It reminded me of that scene in Devilís Advocate where Charlize Theron is with that other chick and then the chickís face morphs into this demon face and then back into a normal face. I kept thinking Ė any second now these chicksí faces are going to morph. AND I was having the sugar shakes so I probably would have passed out. And GOD knows how filthy that floor is.

Anyway Ė we didnít buy anything and I donít think I want to go back in there. I think Iím going to go to Spencerís instead. I can probably get as equally fun stuff for cheaper and at least thereís like a thin veil of decency. I know itís THIN . . . but at least itís there.

So Ė Iíve been scheming all day about this party. Iíve decided weíre going to have naughty banana splits. I donít know if I mentioned this Ė but the party has to be kept pretty tame Ė and thatís okay with me. I think we can celebrate marriage and sexuality and girlhood and all those good things without going out and getting smashed and sitting on some Latino stripperís lap giving him chest hickies. (and NO thatís NOT what I did on my night out!) Not to mention that strippers and getting smashed are quite expensive. And I donít have a large crew here to chip in. So Ė I have to be economical. Anyway Ė so weíll begin the night at a Mexican restaurant. And then weíll head to my house for our naughty banana splits (someone suggested putting chocolate sprinkles on the ice cream ďballsĒ to give it a hairy effect!) and a few games and presents. It should be great fun! I expect lots of laughs.

Anyway Ė so lately Iíve been sleeping HARD. I feel like Iíve just barely escaped death when I wake up in the mornings- thatís how hard and deep Iím sleeping. (Eww sounds dirty. That damn shop has tainted my mind.) I donít know what the hell is up with me.

(How about the old stand-by Ginger. Come on . . .you know you want to say itÖ)

Ok- maybe Iím pregnant.

Are you happy?

3:18 p.m. ::
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