The PJ Story

November 08, 2004
Anyway – so about the ex-boyfriend. His name was PJ. This is not the one that I was with for years. This is the one that I met my second semester at LSU. We met at a church group (ha – the most sinister of romances always seem to start that way) and it was just “love at first sight.” Within a week or two, he was telling me how much he loved me and that he knew that I was “the one” – of course I thought the same thing. I wanted nothing more than to “find the one” and get married – and since no one had offered at this point – and since I did like him – I figured – this MUST be it. He gave me one of those “from the moment I saw you I knew you were the girl I was supposed to marry.” And I said the same. Of course, I had that thought upon meeting ANY guy I was attracted to “Maybe THIS is the ONE I’m supposed to marry???”

Of course- as time rambled forth – I began to see little things that made me nervous – bizarre screaming outbursts (we were studying together once and while reading the notes he decided that to effectively convey the sentiment of the lesson, he would scream all the facts in an angry tone – which sent my parents running to my room to see what the hell was the matter – thus my first official run-in with a “misunderstood guy that I would have to do PR for with every single person I know”), the fact that he hated dogs/pets in general, the fact that he was once a practicing Nazi skinhead before “getting saved” . . .

Of course- it was destined love, right? And then he met another girl who was apparently an even bigger part of his destiny (who worked in the mall.) And then he told me that he wasn’t good enough for me and that in fact, he wasn’t really a Christian but had been totally faking it for the entire time and thus we would be “unequally yoked” so that we obviously couldn’t be together. And that was that. I didn’t speak to him for a long time. Not until a few months after I’d gotten cancer.

And then I called him up when my ex (the one I was with for four years) and I were on a break, and we fooled around considerably –never had sex, though. And then when I had sufficiently made him believe that maybe he had “another chance” with me (he told me the “worst mistake he had ever made in his whole life was letting me go”) I promptly never called him again and went right back to my ex. Niiiiiiice.

We ran into each other a few times. The last unpleasant exchange occurred at Bed, Bath and Beyond. This was when I had started gaining weight and my dad has just left my Mom so she’d lost like – over 100 pounds in 6 months. She was always a big woman up until then.

So he says to me, “It must be strange huh?”

And I say – “What must be strange?”

And he says, “Well – I guess this is the first time you are bigger than your mom.”

Anyway – we didn’t really speak again after that.

And here he is a clerk at the hotel. So my Mom has a little fun and she won’t tell him who she is. He keeps saying “Don’t I know you?” And she’s all “Well – I’m from Minnesota, so I can’t see how . . .”
Well he finally figures it out. And he ends up telling my Mom that he desperately tried to find me about three years ago because he “never gave up” or whatever. And my Mom is all (in her sympathetic Minnesota accent) – “Ohhhhhhhh – she got married over a year ago. She was probably just meeting her husband when you were trying to find her. Oh well.”

I thought that was interesting. Ok – will continue this later.

4:23 p.m. ::
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