Latest Ailment

December 02, 2004
Tinnitus is defined as "A sound in one ear or both ears, such as buzzing, ringing, or whistling, occurring without an external stimulus and usually caused by a specific condition, such as an ear infection, the use of certain drugs, a blocked auditory tube or canal, or a head injury.

I don't have tinnitus. I have something that I'd like to call cell phone tinnitus.

I will officially define cell phone tinnitus as "a sound in one ear or both ears that sounds exactly like the ring of one's cell phone,occurring with the outside stimulus of much of today's popular music (especially of the Hip Hop variety) whether it be via radio or CD, usually occurring in one's car. Symptoms include, constantly cocking one's head to the side (in dog fashion) and saying to oneself (sometimes aloud) "Is that my cell phone ringing?" - then checking one's purse or pocket OVER and OVER again only to find out that the phone is not, in fact, ringing, but the bizarre combination of computer generated beeps that appear in new music has tricked one's brain into thinking that one's phone is ringing - ALL THE DAMN TIME! MAJOR CAUSES OF THIS include: Most of Bjork's music, anything on the hip hop station and strangely, the entirety of The Shins album "Oh, Inverted World"

But HERE is the clencher people!

Today, as I was driving back from lunch, a song came on the local college station and within that song, they had actually used the NOKIA TUNE in the mix!!!!!! AND even though my phone does not and has not ever been set to the Nokia Tune as a ring, I reached for my purse and placed the damn thing to my ear in spite of myself.

Using the Nokia Tune in a song! Hmpf!

That's just cruel, people.

4:14 p.m. ::
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