The Scoop on the Weight

December 16, 2004
Ok Ė I will now attempt to interview myself about my current state of weight:

So, Ginger, it seems that we havenít heard any more exciting news about recent weight losses? What gives?

Well Ė blah blah blah holidays blah blah blah no time blah blah blah busy.

Do you think youíve gained weight then?

Hmmm Ė that would require the use of a scale, níest pas? I will say this. When going to the afterhours clinic on Sunday Ė I weighed a certain amount and was pleased with that amount. I had all my clothes on and so subtracted 4 pounds which then made my current weight equal only 2 pounds more than I have lost overall.

The following day, I went to the office of the Sample Whore (who, might I add, now actually has advertisements on that paper they have on the examining tables - you think Iím kidding, but Iím not), and weighed TEN POUNDS more. So I politely told them that their scales were full of shit. Iím sorry Ė but I donít even think itís possible to gain 10 pounds in 18 hours. Oh yeah Ė his little hammer thingy that he uses to check reflexes had Cialis plastered all over it.

AND there were 2 boxes of tissue in the office, one plastered with the benefits of Effexor and one that sang praises for Zyrtec. So you could be weeping from your depression, reach for the Effexor box to grab a tissue and go ďHey Ė itís a miracle. The drug I need is right here on this box! Like magic!Ē or reach for the Zyrtec one in the midst of a sneezing allergy related fit and have the same revelation.

Iím totally expecting there to be ads for hemorrhoid meds on the toilet paper the next time Iím in there.

Why do you always change the subject when one is asking you about your weight?

Hey Ė that reminds me. The other night, while I was out shopping . . . (heh heh)

Why did your lunch consist of a large bowl of leftover macaroni and cheese, a Sprite and a small blueberry pie?

Iím going to blame that one on my evil menstrual twin who happens to be invading my persona for a small period (pun intended) of time.

When are you going to focus on getting yourself and your health in order again? You were doing well and you made progress!

I havenít totally lost focus, the shot is just a little blurry. I mean, its not as though I totally turned the camera off and threw it in the drawer. I am still conscious of the fact that I need to continue my work. That little pies and macaroni and cheese are bad choices. Damn Ė I just remembered that I had a little pie for breakfast too. DAMN those little pies! They only have 15g fat each, though. I thought for sure they had at least twice that much. Not that thatís a good thing.

Actually Ė over the holiday break, Iím planning on looking into what it will take for me to switch to a diabetic diet. I think I have safely established that I am hypoglycemic after last Fridayís blood sugar reading of 44 (normal is between 70 and 110). I think that the whole thing about having five small meals a day will be great for me Ė considering Iím a snacker now more than a binger. I just have to make the lifestyle adjustments. Itís also quite effective at helping one lose and maintain weight loss.

Anything else?

Nah. Thanks for asking.

1:16 p.m. ::
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