Johnny Carsonís Dead and Iím Not Feeling So Good Myself

January 23, 2005

(No offense to Johnnyís family Ė God rest his soul)

Well a few hours have passed and I have finally stopped my hysterical sobbing. I did NOT go and get a p-test (mostly because I was sobbing) which also gave me a reason to forfeit the baby visit at the hospital (you selfish bitch, you!) Told my aunt I was coming down with a cold (and obviously sounded congested.)

Anyway Ė the vicious cycle of being fat just spins on, doesnít it? During my little weep-fest, I managed to squeeze in two snacks. HEALTHY snacks, but snacks nonetheless. An apple and a bowl of cereal. Still means that Iím comforting myself with food. Honestly, I was too afraid to call anyone. Too afraid that they would confirm my worst fears. Too afraid I would hear those infamous words, ďwell . . . I didnít want to say anything, but you probably should drop at least 100 before getting pregnantĒ from any of my friends who might know better.

I prayed for a bit and felt better. I guess Chad and I will have to discuss it when he gets home.

And thatís a whole other issue Ė heís leaving tomorrow for a week on business. Iím nervous. Iíve been running my fingers over my scalp. NOT PICKING Ė but thinking about it.

P.S. Iím watching I Love the 90s, Part Deux and I cannot believe that Seether by Veruca Salt is TEN YEARS OLD!!! OMG! I AM OLD!

Iím going to sign off right now and try to get over myself.

3:42 p.m. ::
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