The Encounter that Wasn’t, Father’s Day and Other Events

June 20, 2005
A momentous thing occurred on Friday night. And before I even go any further, I must say to Chad that I’m sorry if calling it “momentous” offends you, but to me it was a bit momentous – and that’s no offense to you or anything – because we both had YEARS of our own lives before we met . . .


Okay – so – we (Chad and I) met up with my girls on Friday night at Cheesecake Bistro. Lori, Karen and Kristin were celebrating their recent layoff from the den of evil that I used to work at. For a refresher, click here.

(Oh and that reminds me – I would LOVE to post pictures of you girls in my cast if you give me your permission!?!? Please?!?!)

We had loads of laughs and a great time –nothing unusual. What was unusual is that when I got up to go to the bathroom, straight ahead of me, directly in my path, was THE EX!!!!

I almost DIED!!! A million thoughts ran through my head at once – What am I going to say? What if he tries to hug me? What if Chad rushes over and beats the shit out of him? What if he touches my pregnant belly or makes a comment about my super-swollen mammaries? What if Chad throws him through the plate glass window?

He, apparently, was just being seated and was following the hostess to a table. As I passed, he didn’t really look at me. He glanced, but . . . we were like – a foot apart – and he wasn’t really looking. In fact, I don’t think he recognized me.

So I waddled on to the ladies room, heart pounding, head swimming.

When I came out I didn’t see him anywhere –guess they must’ve seated him at the back.

I honestly think it was the hair. You think that’s strange, but I’m telling you – completely changing your hair can make you almost unrecognizable. The reason I know this so well is that, when I had my wig, people who had known me for years didn’t recognize me from a distance.

Interestingly enough, he knew me when I had that wig. In fact, he’s seen more hair transformations on me than any other guy. And yet . . .

Anyway – I remember my counselor telling me years ago that one day, I’d run into him and it would be “bittersweet.”

It was not bittersweet. It was nothing short of terrifying. And I’m glad I didn’t have to talk to him.

I did the tres intelligent thing of waiting to tell Chad after we’d left the restaurant. He’d already had 4 beers, so . . .

He reacted as I thought he would – angrily yelling “WHERE?” and looking around the parking lot. God only knows what would’ve happened if I would have told him in the restaurant.

Annnnyways- Saturday was relatively dull. Laid around and then finally dragged my ass out of bed to go to Target and Sears (for more muumuu maternity blouses). Is it just me, or has the population swelled by millions since I conceived? I swear – so many people were just all over the place. The parking was nightmarish. I was crazed with anger.

Matters only became worse when my precious little dreams of buying Chad a simple card and a cute baby bib that said “I Love Daddy” were crushed. The card part was okay – even though I had to fight about 25 other last minute women all grabbing and shoving in front of the small stretch of cards. The bib part nearly killed me. Apparently nobody fucking loves daddy! They love mommy and grandma and grandpa and big brother and little sister . . . but not daddy. Daddy is shit out of luck.

I ended up finding this pathetic burp cloth that had “I love Daddy” embroidered on it. Of course, it also came with a matching “I love Mommy” cloth as well – for $6. So I got that, separated the cloths and gave him the daddy one. He liked it, I guess, but a bib . . . a bib would have been perfect.

Here’s your “I love Daddy” vomit towel! Don’t you feel special? Double woohoo for fatherhood!

Yesterday, Brandon and his parents came over for father’s day lunch. Brandon cooked SO MUCH STUFF!!! First of all, he made his own barbecue sauce from scratch. Then he cooked 3 racks of ribs, a giant amount of chicken wings, grilled asparagus, potato salad AND these hamburgers STUFFED with fresh mushrooms and Monterrey jack and cheddar cheeses. SO GOOD! It was an absurd amount of meat.

After the feast, Chad left to go to Phoenix for TWO SOLID WEEKS!!!!


Then I went to my Dad’s to give him his gift and have dinner and more celebratory time. It was a good night all in all. Just sitting around at work about to go eat some lunch.

So –that was my weekend pretty much. Guess I’ll have to really busy myself over the next few weeks while Chad is gone – so I don’t miss him too terribly.

I’m going to have to stay pretty damn busy.

12:03 p.m. ::
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